Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Par Will Always Be Par

The debate over the future of golf is once again in the news and it seems we’ve found both sides in exactly the same place we left them a few years ago. What’s all the hubbub about? Well, it seems the biggest problem is these dang’d new millennials (18-34 years old according to the National Golf Foundation) and all their new ideas on how to grow the game.

CHANGE? NO THANKS!

New ideas and golf … no thank you! Well at least that’s the attitude thus far greeting a number of millennials at the door. Music? Shorts? T-shirts? Denim? You must be crazy, young man! GPS, Lasers … hmm, well in practice rounds, but “if you’re a real golfer” you don’t need them … “see that bush over there, that’s 150.”

Image: GolfDigest.com/June2014
Image: GolfDigest.com/June2014

Now you would think a game with stagnating numbers of somewhere around 25-million golfers in the U.S., would be a bit more welcoming of a new crowd, but so far, not really. The Heisman pose from many older golfers to this new generation is surprising, because a National Golf Foundation study, reported millennials valued the tradition and honor of the game the same as their older counterparts. However, the same study also reported a majority of millennials are turned off by the perceived lack of acceptance and the exclusive attitude they see in the game.

Many current golfers, do indeed, welcome the new generation, but with conditions. Come play golf, sure. Join our club, sure. Pay the buy-in fee up front … definitely! But, tow the line, get along, or go find another sport! It should be no surprise to anyone this is a generational issue with no apparent cease-fire in sight. However, it is also a struggle repeated throughout time and over the history of golf.

ROOM FOR EVERYONE

Look at any picture of golf’s history and you’ll see the unmistakable progression of time and the merging of new ideas making their way into today’s game. You don’t have to turn too many pages back to see men in coats and ties and women in dresses on the course, which was the norm for play back then. Turn a few more pages back, and you’ll find even more exclusionary “normals” for the times.

Photo: Eleanor Roosevelt, PBS.org
Photo: Eleanor Roosevelt, PBS.org

So how did all this change and did it somehow fundamentally flaw the game in the process? Using a simple example; why are men no longer required to wear coat and tie and women, long dresses when playing golf? This change took place over a period of time and was the result of new ideas and thoughts … probably from some other generation who didn’t know their place.

These new ideas don’t (and won’t) change the traditions or the core of the game and it may surprise you to learn, millennials don’t want them to. These new golfers are drawn to the sport for the same reasons we were back in the day. They may have different thoughts or ideas on what they’d like to see, but they love the game every bit as much as we do.

Don’t misunderstand; no one is calling for anarchy. No swimsuits, birthday suits, rock concerts, or confetti after each birdie. No matter who we are or where we come from, we all comply to society’s norms and believe it or not, so did this current group who is joining the game. If you ask, you’ll find the majority of millennials understand if they play at an upscale course they may need to conform to a different dress code and a different behavior. For many millennials, this more formal atmosphere will be exactly what they’re looking for and where they’ll find a perfect home. However, for others, a T-shirt, jeans, and some Aerosmith might be the trick.

There’s room for everyone to find their place in our great game.

Image: Rickie Fowler, PUMA High-Tops
Image: Rickie Fowler, Puma TitanTour Ignite Hi-Top SE

OLD MAN PAR

For those upset and convinced these new changes will be the ruin of our game, breathe easy and keep this in mind; Par will always be Par. Par won’t change because Taylor Smith is playing in the background. Par won’t change because someone’s wearing a Cubs jersey, a Nike T-shirt, high-tops, or God forbid, jeans. Par has been, and will always be, Par.

There is no denying we have a game in flux right now, but just as before from the days of Morris, to Vardon, to Jones, to Hogan, to Palmer, to Nicklaus, to Woods … Par will always be Par.

Image: (Top Left-Right, Bottom Left-Right) Old Tom Morris, Harry Vardon, Bobby Jones, Ben Hogan, Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods
Image: (Top Left-Right, Bottom Left-Right) Old Tom Morris, Harry Vardon, Bobby Jones, Ben Hogan, Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods

 

BIO: Keith Cook has been a writer/contributing editor at localgolfer.com since 2013. Follow Keith and Local Golfer on Twitter: @_KeithCook and @LocalGolfer.

“I Could Play on the LPGA if I Played from Their Tees”

“I could play on the LPGA if I played from their tees.”

You may not hear it often (although, I heard it again this week), but every now and then, you’ll hear a good male golfer utter this ridiculous type of statement. Sometimes, even going as far as saying they could beat the women on their own turf.

This ego stroke is usually accompanied by a couple of beers and the logic “if the distances were the same” to be able to justify in their minds their ability to hang with the world’s best women golfers.

To those guys out there – and there are a few – it’s time to pay some respect and get a clue to just how good these women are … even from “their tees.”


“THEIR TEES” ARE LONG

The 2015 CME Tour Championship was conducted on a Par 72 / 6,540 yard setup. The winning score, shot by Cristie Kerr, was -17 under par over 4-days of tucked pins, fast greens, high-level pressure, no gimmees, mulligans, or leaf rules.

Photo: Cristie Kerr, LPGA.com
Photo: Cristie Kerr, LPGA.com

YOU – Yep, speaking to you – Mr. “I could play on the LPGA Tour” need to get a bit of a clue.

Your first clue should be to check the yardage/s on your home course. I bet if you do, and are honest about the tees you normally play from, you’ll find the course you play is probably shorter (or within a few hundred yards) of the 6,540 yard course the women just competed on over 4-days (possibly even longer than your course’s back tees).

Still not convinced? Ok then, let’s say you’re a legit scratch golfer at your home course (from your tees). So you move forward to the LPGA tees (if that’s the case) and under all the tournament pressure, on TV, and on a tough course setup, I’d bet even money you’d finish EVEN PAR … at best.

So after 4-rounds, this leaves you -17 shots from the leader, or in other words, getting beat by at least 4-shots a round. And remember, that’s if you’re a legitimate scratch male player, unlike most of the golfers I’ve heard make this statement.

However, here comes the I’d be better than scratch “from their tees,” part of the conversation, because “I’m long off the tee”.


THEY’RE LONG TOO

Cristie Kerr (not known as one of the LGPA’s longer hitters) averaged 250.88 yards off the tees, over four rounds, and in the final round, under tournament pressure, hit 14/14 fairways!

As a comparison, Lexi Thompson (one of the LPGA’s longest hitters) averaged 270.25 yards off the tee, over four rounds, and in the final round, under tournament pressure, hit 14/14 fairways!

Photo: Lexi Thompson, LPGA.com
Photo: Lexi Thompson, LPGA.com

But, I know, you hit it 300-yards off the tee and probably hit every fairway as well. Not even on Tiger Woods PGA Tour ’14, my friend.


THE REAL TRUTH

If you’re a male golfer and have somehow thought or even worse, uttered this ridiculous statement out loud, you should wake up and apologize.

Better yet, the next time the LPGA is in town or near you, attend an event and really pay attention to just how good the women’s top players are.

If that still doesn’t convince you, challenge yourself and prove yourself right. Find roughly 6,500 yards on your home course, play straight-up golf (USGA / R&A rules) on any pin make-up or course set-up you see fit and see if you can break par — on your course — for even one round. If so, keep playing those tees, every day, until you’re a legit +5 or +6 handicap … then maybe, just maybe, you could play with the ladies on tour.

But, you’re a dude … dude, so I have to ask what are you trying to prove in the first place? Oh, and in between your rounds, you might want to google “Billie Jean King versus Bobby Riggs” and see how that one turned out.


BIO: Keith Cook has been a writer and contributing editor at thelocalgolfer.com since 2013. Follow Keith @KeithCookWriter on Facebook or @_KeithCook on Twitter.

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Thoughts and Impossible Questions of Golf

Golf Writer, Keith Cook, examines the thoughts and impossible questions of golf.

When we play a round of golf, we generally choose our company for the next 4-5 hours. During those hours, we come in contact with all kinds of personalities. Golf is filled with huge egos, prima donna behavior, social and economic judgments, and sometimes just downright anti-social behavior.

However, golf also lets us share the great parts of social interaction with lasting friendships, respect for each other, great conversations, group camaraderie, and strong competition.

No matter who you’re lucky enough (or strained enough) to spend time with on the golf course, you’ll find all golfers share many of the same experiences and thoughts about the unsolvable nature of the game.

Here are just a few of these thoughts and impossible questions, which bop around in my mind from time to time, or have come out of other golfer’s mouths over the years.

  1. Why is it, when you have the line of a putt figured out perfectly; you knock it 6-feet past or leave it 1-foot short in the middle?

    MissedPutt-PGATour.com
    PGATour.com
  1. Why can’t my driving, my irons, and my putter all come together at the same time?
  1. Why is it that every golfer can understand a “mulligan”, a “gimme” and can calculate math like a computer when figuring out a Nassau; but can’t comprehend a stroke and distance penalty, lateral drop, or somehow comes up with a 4 when it’s actually a 5?
  1. Why do you make every missed short putt … when you putt it again?
  1. Did I mean to hit that shot thin? Why yes, I meant to roll my ball 50-yards onto the green.
  1. Why does the same putt, you just watched break left, stay straight when you putt it?
  1. Why is there always one guy in the group who plays a lost ball as a lateral drop or “leaf rule,” but never misses the opportunity to remind others that a lost ball is actually played from the previous spot with a penalty?
  1. Why don’t I just hit it like that every time? Oh, good point … I’ve never considered that strategy!
  1. Why does the 20-handicapper feel empowered to tell the scratch golfer what he’s doing wrong?

    Lessons-jimdelaby.com
    jimdelaby.com
  1. Why does every man on a driving range immediately become an expert and feel the need to help any female on the range with her swing?
  1. Do guys actually think they can pick up the cart girl with the, “Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven” line?

    CartGirl-GolfDigest.com
    GolfDigest.com
  1. Yes, Yes, I know. If you didn’t work for a living, you’d be on Tour. By the way, nice double.
  1. Hitting a drive 300-yards once, doesn’t mean you hit it 300-yards every time.
  1. What ball am I playing? Well, I’m actually playing the one you just put in your pocket.
  1. You’ll never have a Pinnacle picked up on a golf course, but a Pro V1 … yeah, that’s gone.

Editor’s note: Do you have other golf thoughts or impossible questions to add to this list? If so, we would love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below or add them to our Facebook page at … Localgolfer.com. on Facebook.

BIO: Keith Cook has been a writer/blogger/contributing editor at localgolfer.com since 2013. He is a retired U.S. Military Veteran and amateur golfer living in Michigan. Follow Keith and Local Golfer on Twitter @_KeithCook and @LocalGolfer.

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